Archive for January, 2011

10 Qualities Men Want in A Woman

Tuesday, January 18th, 2011

These are some of the basic qualities men want and like in their mates, dating or possibility of a marriage. Women in their quest for a good relationship should critically consider the issues discussed. These are not set rules or the only things men like, however, they will help you understand some of the ways men quietly evaluate their potential mates.

Respect

Most women tend to think that been disrespectful is a sign of toughness to a serious man. A smart woman must learn to be respectful to the man.  A smart Women should learn to give a man the same level of respect they some how extend to their dad at home. Look at the man as the head of the household, no matter if he is rich or poor. Respect has no monetary value in any relationship; however, it makes it work better and smoothly. All men, young and old, like a woman that is very respectful to him, his friends, families and every encounter they have inside and outside together.

The big mistake women make it to try and prove a point in public every time they with the man. I am not suggesting that they should condone abusive man, however they need to learn the “act of been respectful”. That is similar to a respectful kid, respectful kids, tend to get more help from people than a rude kid. No matter how pretty a woman is, if she is rude and disrespectful, she will never find a decent man as a mate. Men with date a rude and disrespectful woman for a minute and they will leave her in a hurry for a more respectful woman.  

All woman should also be conscious of the fact that this is still a man’s world and the notion that “What a man can do, a woman can do” the society frowns at that mentality. Example, a man with a grey hair is considered wisdom, while a woman with a grey hair is considered an old woman. That is the today’s society. Women should learn to understand that approach when dealing with men.

Consideration

This is a must to all women, men like and will cherish women that are very considerate to their concerns and willing to understand the issue of the day. Be considerate with him money, his things and his feelings. Don’t be wasteful and greedy just for the hell of it. Most men will not voice their opposition but will gradually move on quietly. Men will go all the way out for a woman that has this quality.

Money Management

It has been said that women are great money managers, that is a great plus for a man that finds a woman with this quality. Be a great money manager and the man will be so relaxed that they will have no problem giving you the total control of the finance. However, if you are a bad money manager, the man will become a candle in the wind.

Home Management

The modern women confuse the difference between dating and a marriage-material woman. Men will initially pretend that it is okay not to cook, but they expect and want you to cook when he starts weighing the option of a mate. Most men, look at their mate as an extension of their mothers, hence that old saying “that your wife plays the role of the man’s mother, sister, wife and best friend” These are facts of life for men, they may not voice it but they are quietly taking notes on the qualities they want in a mate. From the beginning, men were hunters and the women were the ones that put the home in order, this is still true today.

Controlling

Men are resentful towards women that wants to tell them what to wear, where to go, who his friends should be, etc, that is a no, no for a woman, men do not like to give up their power to any woman. Men generally like to feel that they are in control all the time. I am not suggesting that the woman cannot give ideas about those things, but it should not be her way or the highway, I promise, that man will take the highway.

Women Raised in Two-Parent-Home

There is a mentality difference between a woman raised by both parents, gives them a sense of consideration that is sometimes missed by being raised by a single mom. These women tend to respect and values a man’s input in the decision making process. They were raised to see their both parents brainstorm together on issues affecting the family. On the other hand, a woman raised by a single mom, were used to their mom making all the decision alone, so they grow up to think that way. It sometime becomes a clash with the man they date or want to marry. In some situation, it becomes a big adjustment to them. Note we are an extension of our parents, so we pick some of their ways from an early age.

Godly

Has a sense of kindness, forgiveness and fairness in heart towards everyone. Has that angelic touch towards all.

Responsible

In today’s world, men don’t want a woman that is not responsible, i.e. self sufficient to some degree. Just like the women ask the man “what have you done for me lately” the men also wants to know what do you bring to the table? Like Missouri State, “the show me state”, the men also want to know your contributions to the relationship?

Total Presentation

This is how a woman packages her self: appearance, shape, style, confidence, smell, hygiene, reasonable make-up and clothing.

Attractive

This is a great difference between beautiful and attractive. Most men like an attractive woman. What is an attractive woman? I woman that has great personality, conservative, yet smart, well mannered, all rounded, can hold her ground in all circumstances and situations. Walks on the side of confidence versus arrogance and likeable by all. Dressing right for the occasion.

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Can a Man or Woman Really Love Another Individual?

Monday, January 3rd, 2011

LOVE is the unconditional bond between two individuals and it is and can only be truly expressed between core family members: parents to children and between siblings of the same parents. The rest is what I called LIKE of a HIGER LEVEL. I don’t care how much you hate your parents, your children or your siblings; you will always have a bad feeling inside of you if something terrible happens to them? Or you will always have those inner feelings to rescue them. That is LOVE.  

Love is an incredibly powerful word. The word love is too powerful to be loosely used to describe our feeling to another person, particularly to the opposite sex. Just like the game we play when we were younger: “girls play sex game to get love and boys play love game to get sex”, a game we played to get our hidden agenda through. Yet we continue to play that sex/love game even we even get older; however, we upgrade it and call it “LOVE for MARRIAGE”

I hear that old talk all the time,  “Am in love with my wife or husband”, yet they are on their way to divorce. It makes me wonder and think deeper about the true meaning of the word LOVE and the reality of the fact.

On the other hand, love between two total separate individuals that can let go or divorce, I define that as LIKE, not love. You can never divorce Love or let go.

Marriage on the other hand, is what I called a business arrangements or relationships; what can I get from you and what can you offer me or vice versa? We may in some case hide our agenda and in other cases, we simply define it up front. Generally, it boils down to what can you offer me? Lets enjoy it while it last. Love does not fade. Parents love never fades.

What is that saying? “You marry for Love” If that is the case, why the prenuptial arrangements, if you love that person? What type of Love is that? Love does not have any thing called prenuptials love or conditions attached to it? Love is always unconditional.

We have been programmed to believe that husband and wife have Love between them, it is not. It is a merely a business relationship geared to achieve a common goal called MARRIAGE.

Parent’s love is not based on achieving that common goal with their children. Someone said it well the other day, “business is like war and wining is what counts”. Marriage on the other hand is a business arrangement.

Think about this for a moment, you cannot divorce LOVE. Any one you can divorce, you don’t love and any one you love, you cannot divorce.

I read an article titled “Can A Man Love Two Women” The answer is NO; you can only Love one; your mother and Like the other; your wife, period. It is hard pill to swallow, but it a FACT

I want you to think about this Chinese mentality, a man with his mom and his wife are in a small boat, and the boat capsized into the river. Question? Who will the man save? The Chinese says the mother. Why the mom, but we just said he loves his wife. Now lets think carefully, the rationale is that he can always replace his wife but he cannot and will never be able to replace his mother.  That is the definition of LOVE, ladies and gentlemen. Anything you can replace, you cannot LOVE. And anything you love, you cannot replace.

Love will never let you feel this way, but marriage will and can:

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

A woman is incomplete until she is married, then she is finished.

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

If it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

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